Starstruck
by 0xyg3n
Summary: After plenty of nagging from his brother in law, Feliciano makes an account on a dating app. He finds love, and so much more.
1. 1

A/N- Hi there, this is the first fic I've written in awhile, and the first I've actually bothered (and deemed good enough) to publish. No trigger warnings yet, though there may be in the future, and it's not in this chapter, but there'll be some heavily implied smut. Thanks for reading, please leave reviews!

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"Downloading… Downloading…" Feliciano tucked his legs against his chest and let his phone fall onto the couch cushions. He'd finally listened to his brother in law's advice and downloaded a dating app… If one could call it that. From what he knew of it, Tinder was more like a one-night-stand locator than a dating app, and one night stands were not what Feliciano needed. He'd had plenty of sex with guys, but after the sex they all left. Feliciano wanted more, he wanted someone who saw him as more than a pretty sex doll.

His phone buzzed and Feliciano looked over to see that it had downloaded and was telling him to make an account. "Oh well, it's worth a try, wouldn't you say so?"

The cat on the other end of the couch didn't respond (not that Feliciano expected her to) so he pretended that she'd given some indication of affirmation. Even with no one to respond, the Italian had picked up the habit of expressing his thoughts aloud when he did things at home. That was another thing that made Feliciano hate being alone, he had no one at home to have an actual conversation with. All his cat could do was meow back, which could hardly be considered a meaningful response.

Only a few minutes after he'd made an account, a message popped up on Feliciano's screen. Someone two miles away wanted a dick pic.

Disgust made its way onto Feliciano's face and he blocked the guy. Of course, he'd assumed this would happen. This sort of quick, easy 'dating' network, these sort of people, he'd known from the start that hordes of men would come begging for nudes, dick pics, and plenty else. That was why it had taken Antonio so much effort to convince Feliciano to get the app.

"Damn, Antonio, I love you but you have some of the dumbest ideas." This came as Feliciano blocked another person who had just seemed… unsavory. He'd been on Tinder a solid two hours and was already regretting it. Normal human beings used good dating sites, not seedy apps meant for people who wanted quick sex. From what Feliciano knew about Antonio, the Spaniard hadn't gotten anything good out of any sort of dating site, since he'd met Lovino at the cafe he owned. Feliciano wished he could find a guy out in the real world, but he was already 24 and hadn't yet met anyone desirable, and was looking for something lasting more than a night or two.

Just when he was about to give up, Feliciano got another message.

AwesomeBirdie: I had a pickup line but then I saw your profile picture and your cute face made me forget it.

Feliciano couldn't help but giggle. That was probably the cutest thing someone had ever told him- even if he knew that it was just a pickup line disguised to look like it wasn't one. So far, this guy fit Feliciano's standards- which he'd lowered with every new message. This AwesomeBirdie guy had not yet asked for anything sexual, hadn't said anything rude or weird, and had started off well. Deciding he had nothing to lose, Feliciano tapped on the guy's username to go to his profile.

The first thing that came up was a picture of a wild looking albino holding a tiny yellow bird. He had a lopsided smile on his face that Feliciano couldn't help but grin back at. Further investigation into the profile, which obviously had a lot of care put into it, led Feliciano to discover that this guy was named Gilbert, and he really liked Rammstein, birds, and Prussia. He seemed pretty normal.

"Oh shit, Stella. What am I supposed to say? I need a pickup line, or something witty, or something not terrible!" Feliciano had gone back to the chat window and was nervously hovering his thumb over his phone's keyboard. His cat didn't offer any assistance, even beginning to smugly lick the brown fur on her chest. Frustrated, the Italian laid down on the couch with his head by the cat's feet and his legs hanging over the arm, onto the coffee table. He didn't want to start off on the wrong foot, not with the first normal (and good looking) guy that had messaged him.

FeliceFeli: I had a pickup line too, but then I saw that cute picture of you with the bird, and I think I forgot English completely.

Barely a moment later, another message came in. It was obvious that Gilbert had been waiting for it with how promptly he'd replied.

AwesomeBirdie: When I saw that message, I forgot how to speak in actual languages and I just started talking gibberish

This was enough to make Feliciano blush. Yes, this guy was really smooth.

FeliceFeli: wow, I don't know what to say. You took the words right out of my mouth

AwesomeBirdie: I think you've won. You're good with pickup lines, my friend.

Feliciano had really begun to warm up to talking with Gilbert. They had a lot in common; they were both immigrants, they both had brothers, they both loved animals, and they both had been messaged by plenty of creeps before finding each other. And soon, they had planned to meet for coffee the next day.

Lovino would kill Feliciano if he found out that he'd gone on a date to somewhere that wasn't his cafe, but Feliciano had decided that he wanted to go on a date without his brother anxiously watching over him. That tended to be a huge turn off for guys. Instead, they'd just decided to meet at a Starbucks near Gilbert's house.

Feliciano had spent a few hours beforehand making sure he looked nice. He'd showered and combed out his curly hair as best as he could, though one of the curls on the side wouldn't lay flat, and it stuck right out. It had taken a long time for Feliciano to put together and outfit that looked nice, but not too nice, and after a long cycle of looking in the mirror, shaking his head, and changing, Feliciano had settled on a pink hoodie that was cropped just above his belly button, and a pair of black skinny jeans. He knew it was ridiculous to obsess so much over clothing, but goddamn it, this was the first promising looking date he'd had in months!

"So you're the cute little birdie I get to go on a date with. Awesome!"

Feliciano turned around to see Gilbert, and his cheeks reddened. The pictures hadn't captured just how good looking Gilbert was. In fact, he was just Feliciano's type; muscular, skinny, and tall. Realizing that he looked horribly awkward, he found words and finally replied, "oh, yeah. That's me. You know, I didn't expect you to be so… Awesome," Feliciano decided on using that word because it seemed to be Gilbert's favorite. That was a good choice, as Gilbert beamed with pride. The German made Feliciano seem like the humblest person on Earth with how he drank in praise.

"If you want something to drink, we should join the queue." Gilbert gently nudged Feliciano, who nodded in agreement. There weren't too many people in the Starbucks, and it wasn't long before they were both sitting at a table in the corner, sipping coffees. Feliciano was just spending that time looking over Gilbert and letting every small detail about the man sink in. He was clean shaven and had a sharp jawline, which made him even more handsome. He also had beautiful eyes, though the scarlet color was a little startling at first. From what Feliciano could see, Gilbert had a nice body. His arms were muscular and tattooed down to his knuckles, which had letters on them spelling out something in German. His shirt had the name of some band on it, and it was tight enough to show a little muscle on Gilbert's chest.

"You're staring. Like what you see?" Feliciano felt a cool hand on his cheek, tilting his face up. Gilbert was considerably taller than him, and he had to look up so their eyes met. He leaned into the touch, which seemed to burn against the warm blush of his cheeks. He'd never felt anything like this before, it was so… so new and daring and truly, absolutely awesome. Just as the moment had started, though, it ended, and Gilbert had moved his hand away.

"So, Feliciano, I want to know more about you."

"Well, more specifically, what do you want to know?" Feliciano felt awkward because he was still blushing like crazy.

"Everything. Tell me about your life, tell me about your cat, tell me about your job."

Feliciano bit his lip, wondering where to start. "Well, I was born in Italy, in Rome. I have a twin brother, he owns the Mattina Cafe, and uh. We moved here when I was thirteen," he paused for a moment to sip his coffee, but it wasn't that good and he found that he'd only been using that as a way to cover his omittence of the reason they'd left Italy. That was something he'd only tell Gilbert if their relationship got to the point where he could trust him with that information. "So now I live here," he countinued. "I went to a performing arts college and I majored in dance. My cat's name is Stella. Here, let me show you a picture of her," Feliciano was smiling as he pulled out his phone and held it out to Gilbert. On it was a picture of a fat brown cat who obviously did not enjoy the pumpkin costume Feliciano had put her in. "That was her on Halloween," he set his phone back in his pocket. "I got her two years ago from the shelter, when she was just a kitten. Uh, for work I teach dance classes during the day. Mostly to kids, there's one adult class I teach each week, but it's not as fun. And at night, I'm a drag queen."

"Woah, that's amazing. One of my friends is a drag queen. I think his drag name is like… Menage a trois." Gilbert grinned at Feliciano, and the Italian blushed a little. He really did like his smile.

"Oh yeah, I know her, she's my drag mother. She'll be ecstatic to know that I'm making an effort to date, especially that I'm dating one of her friends," already, this was going so well that Feliciano was nearly 100 percent sure there would be a second date.

"It's like six degrees of separation or something. I'm so awesome that I personally know your drag mother." Gilbert exclaimed, proud of himself. Some might have found it annoying how egocentric Gilbert was, but Feliciano found it to be endearing. Plus, it was obvious from their conversation that Gilbert didn't just care about himself.

"Now it's your turn, tell me about you."

"Of course! I'm the awesome Gilbert Bielschmidt, I was born in Germany, and then I moved to the States for college and I just never left! My little brother's still in Germany, he's finishing up high school. He's super smart, so I think he'll end up at a good college. I didn't get good enough grades in high school to go to college, so I just came here, it's much easier than it is in Germany. And then, when I came here, I found a bird outside my house who was hurt, so I took him to a vet, and now he's mine. His name's Gilbird, because he's awesome like me."

"That's so cute. You're so cute," Feliciano looked at the table and realized that at some point during the conversation, both of their hands had met, and their fingers had intertwined. He blushed at this too, he was just that sort of person that blushed easily. This made Gilbert smile even more and squeeze his hand a little.

"Yeah, Gilbird is the best, I'll let you meet him sometime." Yes, they were definitely having a second date. Their first date was already going so well. "Anyway, I work for a pretty big company and I design airplanes. It's super awesome."

Feliciano nodded in agreement. That sounded awesome, and it made him admire Gilbert quite a bit. He felt so happy right then and there, with someone so kind and fun to be around and so hot. Feliciano could have kissed Antonio, he was so glad that he'd gotten him to join that dating app.

They sat in that corner of the Starbucks for what must have been hours, oblivious to the other people around them filtering in an out. With every minute that passed, Feliciano liked Gilbert more and more. When it was time for Feliciano to leave, because he would be performing that night, he couldn't get himself to say goodbye.

"I've had so much fun. You're so awesome, I definitely want to see you again," Gilbert said as he helped Feliciano up. They stood in front of each other, close enough for one to pull the other into their arms- which was just what Gilbert did. He gently hugged Feliciano, who almost immediately returned the gesture, wrapping his arms around Gilbert's neck. Their eyes met and it seemed like slow motion, how they both leaned in and met in the middle with their lips. The same fire Feliciano had felt when Gilbert had touched his face came back, and he swore he saw sparks ebb away as he opened his eyes.

"Oh my god, did we just…" Feliciano was smiling like he'd never smiled before.

"Yes. That was the most awesome kiss ever," the look in Gilbert's eyes showed that he was sincere. He pulled away from the hug a little, smile still on his face. "Remember to text me. Goodbye," Gilbert leaned in and gave Feliciano a quick peck on the lips, before letting his arms fall away from the Italian completely. He left, then, and Feliciano realized after a few moments that he'd just been standing there, completely starstruck. That was an amazing feeling, and he just knew he needed more.


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A/N- I changed something on the last chapter and reuploaded it, and everything went to shit. Anyways, expect plenty of updates because I binge-wrote yesterday on an 8 hour car trip, and I'm currently binge writing more because spending the holidays with my family is horribly boring. Merry Christmas and thank you all for reading!

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When he got into his car, Feliciano took out his phone and deleted Tinder. He didn't think he needed it anymore. When he got to the nightclub and was in the dressing rooms in the back, Feliciano sat down in front of the mirror and turned to face the frenchman next to him.

"Guess what~" his voice had this singsong quality to it, which made Francis turn around excitedly. He had his hair up in a bun and was at the stage in contouring his face where he had not yet begun to blend it, which made him look quite messy.

"What?"

"I met a guy" Feliciano took off his shirt and pulled his hair into a wig cap before leaning forward and grabbing a pallet of makeup. "And, he said he knows you."

"What, really?" Francis set down the makeup brush he was holding and leaned forward. His interest had been piqued and now he was intrigued.

"Really. His name's Gilbert," Feliciano's eyes lit up when he mentioned the name. He still felt warm and bubbly from the kiss, and every time he brushed his fingers against his lips, a bit of the magic came back to his mind for just a moment.

Francis nodded excitedly with recognition. "I know him! We met a while ago at some gay bar. So, what happened between you two? Did you have sex?" he was always overly interested in others' sex lives, especially those of his drag family. To add to the craziness of it all, Francis felt no shame in broadcasting the details of his own sex life, whether it was wanted or not.

"Menage a trois!" when they were in drag- or getting into it, Feliciano would refer to the others by their drag names. "We… we kissed, alright? And I like him, like I really like him. He named a bird after himself, that's so cute. And he held my hand and I swear I felt actual real butterflies inside me," Feliciano was blushing now, and it had brought a smile to Francis's face.

"I'm happy for you. Gilbert needs someone like you in his life," Francis murmured. He turned back to the mirror and continued putting on makeup, Feliciano following suit.

It took a long time for Feliciano to get into drag. The makeup was time consuming, especially with how much care he put into it. It also took a while for Feliciano to make sure his wig was on just right, so the lace blended seamlessly in and created the illusion of a hairline, and it took a bit of time for Francis to help him lace up his corset and cinch his waist as small as it would go. Then, nearly as soon as he'd finished dressing, Feliciano was called onstage- under the sobriquet, Amore Dolore.

The nights Feliciano spent performing were long and exhausting, but it was all worth it. He found drag to be a perfect outlet for all his pent up emotion, and that night, he put every ounce of what he felt for Gilbert into his performance. When he was done and packing up for the night, Feliciano decided that he'd invite Gilbert to see him perform sometime. He wanted to share that intimate part of his life with him.

It took two more dates before Feliciano asked him. By then, they'd kissed many more times and Feliciano's feelings had gone past the 'like' stage and were going full speed towards 'love'. When he confessed this to Francis, he got a worried response, and was told to be careful not to fall in love too fast. At first Feliciano thought Francis was just being paranoid, but then he realized how serious he was. It wasn't like he was going to ask about it or anything, but this gave Feliciano a feeling that something had happened to Gilbert in a previous relationship.

When Feliciano stepped onto the stage and the lights came up, he was able to see the crowd around him, though the farther back they were, the less he could discern their faces. Luckily, Gilbert was up closer to the stage, and when their eyes met, Feliciano winked. He was in drag and lip-syncing to a Britney Spears song, smoothly alternating between dancing and strutting around to grab tips from the crowd. The space at the front of his corset where his breasts would have gone, had he had any, was filled with one and five dollar bills, and when the song changed and he slipped off his skirt, he started to collect money in other parts of his lingerie. By the end of the performance, it looked as though Feliciano had on a skirt made of money.

Back in the dressing room, Feliciano quickly set the money on his chair, knowing the other queens wouldn't take any, and returned to the bar.

'Hey, birdie. You did awesome out there," Feliciano turned around to see Gilbert behind him. The albino was holding a bottle of beer in one hand, and a twenty dollar bill in the other. "Here, you deserve it," he placed the money in Feliciano's hand, and the Italian made a mental note to return it when Gilbert wasn't looking. He didn't feel right, letting his boyfriend give him money. He gave him companionship and that was enough.

"Thank you. I'm done performing for tonight, so we can get drinks and chat." Feliciano slipped his hand into Gilbert's and pulled him over to the bar. They served all sorts of drinks, and though a beer did look tempting, Feliciano wanted something stronger. He was in a good bit of pain from teaching a pointe class during the day then going straight to perform at the nightclub, and he could feel bruises forming on the insides of his thighs from jumping into the splits multiple times. Finally, he ordered a cocktail with more liquor than mixer, and he sat next to Gilbert at the bar, taking long sips of it. "Sometimes I just want to tell all the kids I teach that they should pick a different hobby now, because after they finish the level one ballet classes and start performing and being competitive, they're going to always be injured and hurt." Feliciano looked down at his legs and loosened the strap on one of his high heels.

"You do look like you've taken a beating. Is it really that strenuous?"

"Yeah. Pointe classes put a lot of pressure on your feet, and drag is really hard on your legs and feet as well. Human bodies aren't meant for this sort of thing," Feliciano complained. He felt that with the hard work he did, he had the right to whine as much as he wanted about being in pain and hurt. And of course, Gilbert was always there to listen. "Can I get another drink? Just tequila this time, don't bother with the mixer." Feliciano grabbed the glass that was handed to him and sighed happily as he drank its contents. He was by no means a heavy drinker, but sometimes he'd just start and not know when to stop. As Feliciano ordered a third helping of liquor, this proved to be one of those nights.

Gilbert laughed and chatted with Feliciano, sometimes turning around to watch the other drag queens perform. Feliciano would lean over and tell Gilbert about each of them as they came onstage, giving a short explanation of who they were and how they had come to be part of the nightclub's resident drag family.

Feliciano had a few more drinks as the night went on, and as he got more drunk, he became much more talkative and seductive, and he started to get horny. At a certain point, Gilbert decided he should take Feliciano home. They left the club, going back to Gilbert's car, and after helping the Italian into the passenger side, Gilbert got in the driver's seat and looked over at Feliciano. His makeup was still impeccable and his wig sat stiffly as it had before. Unable to control the impulse, Gilbert reached out and gently touched the wig. It felt stiff, like someone had glued a ton of thin wires together.

"When I styled it, I used a whole can of hairspray," Feliciano's voice had lost the bubbly, happy tone, and somehow he'd made that sentence sound sexy. It was a little unnerving to Gilbert. Sure, he'd been around plenty of drunk people, but none of them had been so damn… hot.

"Shit." Gilbert gritted his teeth and started to drive away. He contemplated taking Feliciano to his house, as it was closer, but he didn't have makeup remover or anything like that, and he wanted Feliciano to wake up somewhere familiar, since he knew that he'd have a nasty hangover the next day. He turned instead to go to his boyfriend's apartment, forcing himself to focus on the road instead of the guy next to him, who had started to slide off his shoes in a striptease-y way.

By the time they got to the apartment building, Feliciano had his shoes, tights, and corset off. If it weren't for Gilbert quickly wrapping his coat around him and lifting him into his arms, the Italian would have removed his underwear as well. He leaned against Gilbert and gave his neck sloppy, lipstick-y kisses while he carried him into the elevator and waited for it to reach Feliciano's floor.

"Do you have the key?" Gilbert asked. He panicked for a moment when Feliciano had a look of confusion I'm his eyes, but the Italian then leaned forwards and grabbed a key from under the wreath on the door. Gilbert took it and opened the door, nudging it open with his hip as he carried Feliciano inside. The Italian wiggled out of his boyfriend's arms and stood facing him, a seductive smile on his face. He pulled off his wig and shook out his curly red hair, then grabbed Gilbert's hand and pulled him into his bedroom. It took what seemed like a whole box of makeup wipes, and Feliciano finally had all the powder and cream gone, leaving just him in Gilbert's too-big coat and a pair of womens' panties.

The Italian walked over to Gilbert and threw his arms around his shoulders, leaning in to kiss him. He was unsteady because he was drunk, and Gilbert had to hold him tightly so he wouldn't lose his balance and fall. Feliciano kissed with full force, but something was holding Gilbert back. He couldn't take advantage of his boyfriend, that just wasn't an awesome thing to do. After a few moments he pulled back from the kiss and looked down at Feliciano, his expression unreadable.

There was a pressure building between Gilbert's legs and he knew he was turned on. He wanted to shove Feliciano onto the bed and ravish him, but he couldn't. Not like this, when Feliciano was drunk out of his mind. "Feli, I care about you. That's why I have to say no. You should go to sleep, it's late." he frowned a little and leaned away from the Italian, pulling the coat off Feliciano's shoulders. He was about to put it on and leave when he heard sniffling behind him.

"Stay with me, please," the alcohol had all gotten to Feliciano's head, and he'd gone past the horny stage to an emotional one. Tears trickled down his red face and he grabbed Gilbert's wrist. The albino sighed softly, though it wasn't a sigh of unhappiness or disgust, rather one of quiet realization.

"Don't cry. You don't look awesome when you cry," Gilbert took off the coat and his shoes and pants, so he was just in his boxers and T-shirt, and he pulled Feliciano onto the bed with him.

"Do you promise you'll stay?" Feliciano asked softly. Tears were still pooling in his golden brown eyes. Gilbert leaned forward and brushed a thumb over his cheek to wipe them away.

"Yes, Feli. I promise," Gilbert's voice had turned to a soft murmur. "You were really awesome tonight, you're so talented. I'm so glad I met you, you're such an awesome person."

This made Feliciano blush and bury his face in one of the pillows to try and hide how red it was. He was smiling lazily, and that smile got bigger when Gilbert pulled the blankets over them and moved closer to Feliciano. This time, when they kissed, Feliciano was starstruck all over again. Unlike the sloppy kiss he'd given Gilbert before, this one was gentle and loving. It lasted just a few seconds, but when Gilbert pulled his lips away, he didn't move his body. That was his way of assuring Feliciano that he was staying.

It wasn't long before they were spooning and the Italian, who was curled up in the curve of his boyfriend's body as the little spoon, had fallen fast asleep. Gilbert looked over him and leaned back a little, getting a better look at him. He hadn't noticed until now how Feliciano's hair tapered off in small, tight curls, and how he had an intricate tattoo of a mermaid on his back, which was surrounded by detailed black and dark green designs. Gilbert found his fingers tracing over the inked in lines and his lips following, planting kisses all over his back. Right there, with Feliciano's beautiful body curled against his, Gilbert knew that he'd fallen in love.


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A/N- This chapter is... it's... wow. I got a little too tipsy at christmas dinner, which led to writing this whole mess, and I went ahead and decided to publish it (against my better judgement). Happy holidays, enjoy, and don't forget to favorite, follow, and review!

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Feliciano pressed his face against his pillow and groaned. He was faintly aware of someone's arm over his stomach and the person that arm belonged to, who was snoring softly, curled around him. "Fu-uck," he whimpered and gently touched his fingers to his temple, keeping his eyes squeezed shut. After drinking so much the night before, Feliciano had a horrible headache. It was no use trying to go back to sleep, so he nudged Gilbert awake. "Gil, I have an awful hangover, I feel like shit," he mumbled.

"You nearly drank a whole bottle of tequila. That's why you feel like shit," Gilbert let Feliciano turn and bury his face in his chest. The Italian looked so miserable and fragile right then, but to Gilbert, that didn't do anything to lessen the beauty that constantly radiated from him. In a gesture of sympathy, Gilbert kissed the top of Feliciano's head and offered to make him some coffee, which he accepted.

Usually, when he was hungover, Feliciano would lay in bed all day and try to choke down a few painkillers. Now it was different. Now he had someone with him to make sure he took care of himself. Just thinking about that made him feel a little better, though it did nothing to actually help his pounding headache.

Gilbert returned a few minutes later with a mug of coffee for Feliciano. The Italian grabbed it eagerly and took a long sip.

"Oh gross, this is all gritty," Feliciano grimaced and pushed the cup away. Upon further inspection, he realized that what his boyfriend had given him was just hot water with coffee grounds mixed in. "Gilbert… Do you know how to make coffee?"

"Of course! I'm awesome and I know how to do everything!" Gilbert crossed his arms indignantly. "What, can you not take just how much awesomeness is in that coffee?"

It took a lot to stop Feliciano from vocalizing his internal groans. He was sad and in pain and irritated, the last thing he needed was for Gilbert to start getting narcissistic. "Here, you try it, then tell me how 'awesome' it is," he shoved the mug into Gilbert's hands. The albino took a hearty sip and Feliciano smirked when he saw his face fall, tongue sticking out with disgust.

"So you aren't supposed to just stir the coffee powder into the water."

All of a sudden, Feliciano couldn't take it and he burst out laughing. It made his head pound worse but he didn't care. The situation was just so funny. "Oh Gil, you're such an idiot," he leaned against his boyfriend and shook with laughter, the other joining him as soon as he realized just how funny the situation was. They both laughed until they were out of breath, and then they were just laying down again, Feliciano's head on Gilbert's chest, and their arms around each other. "When I don't feel like shit, I'm going to teach you how to use a coffee pot. It's an important thing to know, for when Starbucks is closed and you need an espresso," Feliciano said. Gilbert leaned down and kissed the top of his head. He let out a soft sigh of happiness when he inhaled the familiar scent of wine and roses that always clung to his boyfriend, and instead of pulling away he just rested his chin on top of Feliciano's hair and kept his arms loosely around him.

"Can I just stay here with you forever?" Gilbert asked. It had been a long time since he'd felt so comfortable and serene, and he loved the feeling and didn't want it to end.

Feliciano obviously didn't either, because he replied, "I wish. I like this so much." He still felt gross and was starting to even get a little nauseous (in part from Gilbert's failed attempt at making coffee), but Gilbert made him feel better about his awful hangover. "Ugh, I have to work today. I really don't want to," he buried his face back into Gilbert's muscular chest and made a noise between a groan and a whimper. It wasn't just the hangover that made him dread having to go to work. His feet were blistered and without even looking at them, he knew his thighs were bruised from the drag performance. Drag performance… wait…

"Oh shit I never untucked!" Feliciano sat up so fast that it made him feel awfully dizzy. He suddenly became painfully aware of the duct tape holding everything in places where they didn't exactly belong. At this point, Feliciano didn't care what Gilbert saw. He just got on his knees, pulled off the pair of womens' underwear he was still wearing, and gingerly peeled the duct tape away from his crotch.

For the first minute, Gilbert had been extremely confused as to what 'untucked' meant, but he became very aware when Feliciano stripped off the last bit of clothes and freed his junk from a few layers of silver duct tape. "Oh god, that looks painful," Gilbert mumbled. He wasn't as much startled by seeing his boyfriend completely naked as he was seeing the angry red marks the duct tape had left just above his cock.

"Hurts like a bitch," Feliciano agreed. The burning pain that had come with quickly tearing off the tape was replaced by a sharp tingling, and he laid back against Gilbert with another unhappy groan. "I don't know what I would do without you," he mumbled. The word grateful couldn't even begin to describe how glad Feliciano was that he had his boyfriend there. He may have been incapable of something as simple as making coffee, but Gilbert's presence was the best thing he could have asked for. The albino smiled at Feliciano's remark. Knowing that Feliciano was glad to have him made Gilbert ridiculously happy. Although he always spoke about how awesome he was and seemed pretty good at building his own confidence, what really made him feel proud was when other people let him know that they cared about him and his presence.

Gilbert moved Feliciano a little so their faces were next to each other. First their foreheads pressed against each other and Gilbert slid an arm around Feliciano's slim waist. He couldn't help but notice how the Italian's body curved in all the right places and he was so, so warm, almost like a bundle of flames. That description fit well, he was so bright and lively and he brought this sort of happy warmth to Gilbert that filled his heart in an indescribable way. "I'm so glad I have you, and I can be here for you and be your awesome boyfriend," Gilbert whispered as he leaned in to press his lips against Feliciano's. Their legs were tangled together and their arms around each other, which let Gilbert pull Feliciano closer to him. It had been a long, long time since Gilbert had been so intimately intertwined with another person, and even thinking back to then, he couldn't recall any amount of emotion as intense as there was right then and there.

"I have no idea how we got here," Feliciano pulled away from the kiss and pressed his forehead against the place where Gilbert's neck met his jaw. "I mean this morning's been crazy, one minute I'm realizing that my balls are still stuck inside me, the next I'm making out with you. And… I love it. It's so spontaneous, I love when things are spontaneous."

Gilbert hummed in agreement, stroking Feliciano's hair. They sat in silence for a while, but neither seemed to mind. The silence was comfortable because they were comfortable with each other. Finally, when the silence was broken, it was because Gilbert was asking how Feliciano felt.

"I still have an awful headache, and my stomach hurts, like I'm all dizzy. Probably dehydrated," he gently pressed his fingertips against his temple again.

"I'm sorry. I'll go and get you some water. I'm really good at getting water for people!" Gilbert rolled to the side so he could sit up without bothering Feliciano, though that didn't matter much as the Italian sat up with him, though much less quickly and with some quiet, pained groans. He knew that he had to get up already, since he had a few classes to teach that afternoon. Even in bad shape, Feliciano still went to work and put everything into his dancing and instructing, even if it wasn't always given an appreciative response. He had his job because he genuinely loved it. If he was in it for the money, Feliciano would have left long ago and gotten some sort of desk job. He made just barely enough to get by from both teaching classes and doing drag.

When Gilbert got up to go in the kitchen, Feliciano stood up and followed, lazily slipping his hand into the German's. "You don't need to get up if you feel sick," Gilbert gave him a concerned glance.

"I can't stay in bed forever," Feliciano walked alongside Gilbert into the kitchen. He still wasn't wearing anything, which Gilbert didn't mind at all. There was something so ethereal about Feliciano's body, and that was magnified when he was basked in the warm sunlight streaming through the doors to the apartment's balcony. It took a moment before Gilbert remembered he was getting water for Feliciano, and he quickly found the glasses and filled one with water. The Italian took it gratefully and stood in the middle of the room as he drank. Gilbert spent that time admiring every little aspect of Feliciano's body, trying to imprint it in his mind.

First, there was his beautiful brunette hair, in wild curls with one that stuck out the side and could never lay flat. Gilbert loved touching that soft hair, it felt like silk it was so light and smooth. Then, Feliciano's golden eyes, which were dull now but otherwise sparkled and glimmered. And of course, his body. Gilbert liked Feliciano for his personality, but his body was one of the things that made him like that Italian as more than a friend. Feliciano was small, nearly a foot shorter than Gilbert, and he was skinny, with long, graceful legs. And no, Gilbert would not hesitate to include that he loved Feliciano's butt, because he was absolutely shameless about those kind of things.

Feliciano snapped Gilbert out of his staring when he finished the glass of water and walked over to set it on the table. He felt something soft against his feet and looked down to see that Stella had come over as well, and was buzzing against his and Gilbert's legs. "Hi there, cutie," Feliciano smiled and leaned down to rub behind Stella's ears. She purred softly as Gilbert joined in and pet her back.

That was another thing Gilbert really admired about Feliciano: how good he was with animals. He was like a disney princess in that animals always were coming up to him and he was always petting them and giving them attention. Dogs, cats, birds, you name it, Feliciano loved it.

"I've got to get dressed," Feliciano mumbled. Stella had walked away to lay in a patch of sunlight, and it was just him and Gilbert again. The water had helped a little, but the headache didn't seem to be going away anytime soon. At least standing still for a while had gotten rid of the dizziness. Gilbert looked disappointed that Feliciano had to end the intimate moment they'd been having, and he was also a little worried.

"If you don't feel awesome, you should just stay home. I'll stay with you and take care of you,"

"Thanks, but it's alright. I have work, and I can't just lay in bed forever. It's my fault anyway that I've got a hangover,"

"If you say so. At least let me drive you to work," that was an excuse to spend more time with Feliciano. He knew that the Italian would be fine taking the subway, but he didn't want to just leave him. The time Gilbert spent with his boyfriend seemed so short, and it always left him yearning for more. Feliciano just made him feel so… so complete. No one else even came close to him in terms of the effect he had on Gilbert.

It took some begging, but Feliciano finally relented and allowed Gilbert to drive him. He too wanted to keep spending time with his boyfriend. He let Gilbert follow him back into his bedroom and sit on his bed while he got dressed and brushed out his hair. Even as he went around and grabbed his shoes and his phone and other things, he kept coming back to Gilbert and giving him quick kisses or nuzzles. They talked, softly so they wouldn't aggravate Feliciano's headache more, about all manner of things. Talking to Feliciano came easy for Gilbert, he didn't feel like he had to fill the silence by talking about his own awesomeness and trying to inflate his own ego, because Feliciano did that for him. Just being around him made him feel awesome. And Feliciano kept saying it, he kept telling Gilbert how awesome he was and how much he liked him, and he did it because he was an honest person and when he felt some way about someone, he let them know it.

Gilbert drove up to the dance studio and parked in front of the entrance. Before Feliciano got out of the car, he leaned over and kissed him, first on the cheek, then on the lips when the Italian turned and pressed them together. The kiss didn't last long, but that didn't matter. It felt like Feliciano had chugged three pots of coffee, that was what Gilbert's affection did to him. He felt suddenly energized, like he could take on anything thrown at him, and his body was filled with an electrifying buzz of happiness. When Feliciano left the car, he walked into the studio with a smile on his face and a spring in his step.

Gilbert watched him go in, and he could feel a smile coming onto his face. Feliciano was just so dang cute! Even after Feliciano had disappeared from Gilbert's view, the Italian remained on his mind. Throughout the drive back to his house, Gilbert couldn't stop thinking of Feliciano. He made him feel all warm and cozy and confident. Yes, that was one of the best things Feliciano did for Gilbert. He made him feel amazingly confident, which in turn made him feel like he didn't have to constantly tell himself that he was awesome or amazing to try and convince himself that he was.

"Oh my god…" Gilbert sat on his couch and looked down at his phone, where he'd unconsciously pulled up his text conversation with Feliciano, the motion had become so familiar. "I'm falling in love."

Feliciano was thinking something similar to his boyfriend. He went through the monotonous routine of stretching and warming up before his first class was set to start, and he kept finding that his thoughts trailed back to a certain albino. He couldn't stop thinking of the strong arms around him and that gravel, deep voice in his ear. Even though he'd never actually said them, three words, in Gilbert's voice, kept running through the Italian's mind: I Love You.

Now, he had to wonder, after hearing Francis caution him against admitting that he'd fallen in love so soon, would he ever hear Gilbert say those words outside of his imagination?


	4. 4

A/N- this chapter is a little shorter because I honestly didn't really know how to write it, it's a bit of a bridge I guess. I apologize for not updating for awhile either, I've got some other things going on as well and taking up my time. Happy new year, and remember to follow, favorite, and review!

4

"So anyway, my brother's going to be in town soon, and I was thinking you could meet him." Gilbert said. He and Feliciano were on a date at a restaurant, sitting across from each other and holding hands on top of the table. Feliciano took a sip of his wine and nodded.

"I'd like to meet him. Sometime I've got to have you meet Lovino… Ugh, that's going to be a mess. I told him that I'm dating someone and it's serious, and he went into total overprotective brother mode." Feliciano chuckled, but it wasn't as much a happy one as it was dry. He'd told Gilbert plenty about how his brother tended to blow things way out of proportions and freak out about anything having to do with him. He was worried that when Lovino saw how close they had become, he would get jealous or freak out and try to push Gilbert away from Feliciano to 'protect him'.

Gilbert wouldn't admit it, but he was nervous about meeting Lovino. What if he hated him and forced them to break up? Or what if he thought they were taking things too fast? Gilbert had started coming to every one of Feliciano's drag performances, and they spent plenty of time together. For two people that had known each other for only two months, that may have seemed extreme.

In an attempt to take Feliciano's (and his own) mind off Lovino, Gilbert went back to talking about his own brother visiting. "Yeah, so I thought you could come over, and I'll make dinner and you can meet Ludwig. He's pretty cool… Really smart, too,"

Feliciano nodded to say he was listening, and ate some more of the pasta on his plate. He got worried when Gilbert said he would make dinner, since he'd discovered that, despite his insistence that he was good at cooking, the German was a horrible cook. He'd offered to make food for Feliciano a few times, and it always turned out burnt and, for lack of a better word, shitty. Not that Feliciano would ever tell him. Gilbert always got so adorably excited when he was going to do something for Feliciano, and the Italian just couldn't bear to ruin Gilbert's excitement. "How about I bring something, I don't want you to feel like you have to do everything,"

"No, Feli, you don't have to," Gilbert tried to tell him that he could handle it, but Feliciano begged enough that he finally relented and allowed the Italian to bring dessert. That was good enough for Feliciano, who saw it as an opportunity to recover from what was bound to be a terrible dinner. An awkward silence had come between them, so Gilbert searched his mind for a topic and started talking animatedly about how he wanted to get a friend for Gilbird. This was good enough to occupy Feliciano's mind for the rest of dinner.

Even though he'd been there a few times, the size of Gilbert's house always seemed to amaze Feliciano. It was by no means a mansion, but for someone used to living from paycheck to paycheck in a small apartment, the modern, two floored house looked huge. He rang the doorbell and was immediately greeted by Gilbert, who seemed to be bursting with excitement. Feliciano was holding a tinfoil wrapped tray of cookies, which he held out of the way when the albino embraced him and gave him a kiss.

"Luddy! This is my awesome boyfriend, he'd the awesomest person on earth… other than me, of course," Gilbert pulled Feliciano into the kitchen and the Italian found himself face to face with a stern blonde who could only be Gilbert's brother.

The blonde stuck out a hand for Feliciano to shake, but the Italian hugged him instead. "Hi! I've heard so much about you. All good things, of course," Feliciano pulled away from the hug, ignoring the startled look on Ludwig's face.

Gilbert and Ludwig were both quite different in terms of personality. The elder brother came off as loud and narcissistic, and behind that, Feliciano saw someone who was extremely loyal and loving. Ludwig, however, was very reserved and stern, and if one didn't know better, they would think he was the older of the two brothers. He certainly acted the most mature. Ludwig had a relaxed, more fun side to him, but that was seldom seen. Even Gilbert rarely got to experience that part of his brother's personality.

"I've heard plenty about you too," Ludwig replied. He had a much less accented voice than Gilbert, and he sounded so… Unlike someone his age. It was hard for Feliciano to believe that he was only seventeen. The blonde had indeed heard plenty about Feliciano from Gilbert. In fact, Gilbert's favorite subject of conversation had recently changed from himself to his boyfriend, and Ludwig had become subject to his brother's constant chatter about Feliciano.

Feliciano giggled and turned around to meet Gilbert's eyes. "I hope you've only told him good stuff about me,"

"Of course! The only stuff there is to say about you is good," Gilbert leaned forward and kissed Feliciano. This made Ludwig even more uncomfortable and he shifted nervously on his feet. It wasn't that he was averse to being around couples, it was that this was his brother, for god's sake! No sane person wanted to imagine their sibling getting way too far into another person's space, much less watch it happen right before their very eyes. Ludwig cleared his throat, which startled Gilbert enough to pull him away from his boyfriend. His timing had been good, as the sausages in the pan started to burn.

Gilbert didn't care, though, and he just let them sit there, not even bothering to flip them or take the pan off the stove. "Gilbert! You're ruining the dinner!" Ludwig and Feliciano both watched with dismay as smoke started rising from the pan. filling the kitchen with a bitter odor.

"Huh? No, this is how you're supposed to make it. It brings out the flavor," Gilbert insisted. He seemed perfectly unfazed by the cloud of blackish smoke puffing out of what had once been a nice dinner.

Feliciano coughed and waved a hand in front of his face. The smoke had started to fill the kitchen even more, and suddenly, a shrill beeping started coming from one of the smoke alarms on the ceiling.

"Scheiße!" Ludwig turned off the stove and dumped the failed dinner into the trash can like it was a bag of hazardous waste. Feliciano cowered against Gilbert, who was watching the whole scene unfold with a grin on his face, while Ludwig grabbed a dish towel and beat it in the air to get the smoke away from the alarm, until it turned off. Neither he nor Feliciano looked at all happy when they finally turned to Gilbert.

"Babe… I love your cooking, bu-"

He was cut off by Ludwig, whose face had turned red with anger. "What were you thinking? You nearly burnt this house down, you nearly killed everyone inside, for god's sake, have common sense!" Ludwig yelled. He stormed to the sink and filled the pan with water so the stuck-on pieces of burnt food would come off more easily when he scrubbed the pan, before starting to wash the dishes.

Feliciano had never seen someone angrily wash dishes after blowing up at someone, and if he hadn't been so startled, he would have found it funny. Instead, he clung to Gilbert and tried to wrap his mind around the events of the last five minutes. "I'll call and get pizza. We can just have that… And beer… And the cookies Feli brought," Gilbert said. He felt bad about freaking Feliciano out and annoying his brother. Ludwig was supposed to be there for a relaxing vacation, not a stressful mess.

"Beer sounds good," Feliciano replied. Ludwig nodded to say he agreed, but that was the only indication he gave that he cared. Once Feliciano had let go of Gilbert, he went to the refrigerator and took out three beers. It didn't even occur to Feliciano that Ludwig was much too young to legally drink alcohol, as he'd done much more than just drink alcohol when he was Ludwig's age. He just grabbed one of the beers and followed Gilbert to where he went to sit on the couch. Ludwig didn't join them until he had scrubbed every bit of burnt food off the pan, but when he got there he didn't object to the other two ordering a pizza to make up for the ruined dinner.

"So…" Feliciano searched for something to say. There was an awkwardness between them after the whole incident with Gilbert's cooking. "Gilbert says you'll be going to university next year. Have you been accepted to any yet?" Feliciano leaned into Gilbert and let the albino shift so the Italian was on his lap.

Ludwig took a sip of beer and a few moments of silence before replying. "Ja. I've applied to a few German universities, because tuition is free, and a few in the US with mechanical engineering programs. I haven't heard back from all of them yet, but so far I've been accepted by every one that has informed me of my status," he took another sip of his beer as though to indicate that he was finished talking. Feliciano's eyebrows raised in surprise. Of the schools he'd applied to, only two had accepted him.

"See! I told you he was insanely smart!" Gilbert looked proud and he leaned forward to ruffle Ludwig's hair. This made the blonde extremely flustered, and his cheeks turned scarlet. Feliciano laughed softly. He loved seeing Gilbert around Ludwig, it brought out a whole different facet of his caring side.

They eased into conversation, and Feliciano found that he liked Ludwig, especially as he became less reserved and spoke more. He also fell even more in love with Gilbert when he saw how sweet he was with his younger brother. Ludwig seemed to be happy about their relationship, and before Feliciano left, he pulled him aside to talk to him.

"Look, I'm really glad to see that Gilbert has found someone. It's… Well, it's been awhile since his last relationship, and that really hurt him, so I just want you to know that it's so good that you're with him. He's my brother, and I really care about him and I only want the best for him," Ludwig trailed off and smiled a little. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should be careful with him, but I can tell he really likes you and you two are really made for each other,"

Feliciano didn't know what to say. He felt relieved to have Ludwig's approval of their relationship, but it also opened new questions for him. Something had obviously happened to Gilbert, something bad, and Feliciano wanted to know more, but he wouldn't pry. He didn't want to re-open wounds that may still be painful.

"Thank you. You're a really amazing person and I'm glad to have met you," Feliciano leaned forward and hugged Ludwig quickly, before pulling away and going to rejoin Gilbert by the door.

"What was that about?"

"He was telling me that you'd taken a vow of celibacy and I needed to keep my hands off," Feliciano teased. He waited until Ludwig had left before giving Gilbert a goodbye kiss, putting all his heart and soul into it. The warm feeling that spread into Feliciano's body from their joined lips pulled up so many emotions, and the strongest one was definitely love. He knew Ludwig wanted him to be careful and Francis kept warning him to take it slow with Gilbert, but how could he when he was absolutely sure that he was falling in love, and nothing could slow him down or make him stop.


	5. 5

A/N- I ended up writing all-out smut, so yeah, that's in this chapter. I want to give a special thanks to Yo-Senpai, because I was kind of losing hope in my ability to finish this chapter, then I saw their review and I just knew that I had to finish what I'd started with Gilbert's background. So yeah, this chapter is a pretty big, important one, and there will def be more to come! Also, if you're still craving more of my writing, I've started writing another story: Awfully Invisible. Go check that one out, and remember to follow, favorite, and review!

5

Gilbert pressed Feliciano against the wall as soon as he'd pushed the door of his apartment closed. The Italian was gasping and moaning softly while Gilbert bit and sucked at his neck and collarbones. Feliciano was already wearing very little; that night his performance at the nightclub had been a striptease. This made it easy for Gilbert's hands to roam all over his body and undo the laces and clasps of his corset before letting it drop to the floor.

"You look so damn hot like this," Gilbert purred. He pulled back from their heated embrace to look Feliciano over. Against the wall with only the bottoms of his lingerie on, the Italian was blushing furiously. Gilbert didn't think he could take it much longer, so he lifted his boyfriend up and carried him into his bedroom, throwing him down on the mattress.

"Fucking kiss me," Feliciano leaned forward to let their lips lock together again. One of Gilbert's arms looped around his waist and pulled him closer so their hips ground together, while his other hand brushed over Feliciano's cheek then tangled itself in his hair. He pulled a little, just to see what would happen, and it elicited a breathy moan from the Italian.

"You like that, don't you?"

"Oh god, I love it. That's…" Feliciano blushed even more, if that was possible, and turned his face away. "I don't usually tell people this, and you can't tell anyone, especially not Francis, but I get so turned on when my hair gets pulled,"

Gilbert grinned at the newfound information and twisted one of the curls on the side of his head around his finger. Just the slightest pull got the most beautiful sounds to come out of Feliciano's mouth, and Gilbert could feel his erection growing larger every time he ground their hips together. This was it. He was going to let himself have sex with Feliciano and let him know how much he loved- yes, loved- him. Gilbert knew he couldn't hide from it any longer: he had fallen in love with the Italian.

Gilbert's thoughts were interrupted when he felt a pair of hands slide under his shirt and up his stomach and chest. He let go of Feliciano and raised his arms a little so he could take his shirt off. "You're so sexy," he whispered. There was awe in his voice and his eyes as he ran his fingers over Gilbert's well defined abs. Feliciano had seen him naked before, of course, but right then he was saying all the things he'd previously kept to himself. He didn't have much more time to stare, though, because Gilbert was sliding off his underwear. Feliciano whined a little when he was completely exposed, but that whine turned into one of pleasure when he felt a cool hand on his cock.

"Piercings? Really?" Gilbert pressed a thumb against the silver ball at the head. Feliciano blushed a little and nodded. He'd done the one at the top after he'd lost a bet, and despite the pain, he liked how it looked enough that he got a second one closer to the base of his cock. Gilbert couldn't say he wasn't surprised. Feliciano did already have plenty of body modifications with all his tattoos and his tongue and ear piercings, but Gilbert would never have thought he would have gotten one in such a sensitive area. That took balls to do… literally.

Feliciano surprised Gilbert again when he got on his knees and started to unzip Gilbert's jeans. He pushed them down so they pooled around his ankles on the floor, and then pulled down Gilbert's underwear as well. The Italian didn't seem like one to be dominant, but he really wanted to suck his boyfriend off, because he wanted to watch Gilbert lose his composure and melt for him.

The minute Feliciano took him into his mouth, Gilbert groaned with pleasure. He was a pretty vocal person during sex, and he didn't care to hide it. Feliciano enjoyed that, so he ran his tongue again and again over Gilbert's shaft, which got him to let out the most beautiful noises. Through his haze of pleasure, Gilbert grabbed some of Feliciano's hair and gently tugged. He moaned around his cock, which just made everything feel even better.

Finally, when Gilbert felt like he was about to come undone, Feliciano pulled away and gently kissed where his leg met his hip. He still had all his drag makeup on, and the kiss left a messy red lipstick mark. There would be many more of those covering Gilbert's ivory skin before they were done. Gilbert took this opportunity to push Feliciano onto his back on the bed. "You got lube?"

"Yeah, second drawer. There's condoms there, too."

Gilbert leaned over and grabbed a little bottle out of the drawer, flipping the top open. "You want me to do this, or you?" he asked.

"You," Feliciano spread his legs and let Gilbert kiss him gently while he covered his fingers in lube and rubbed them over the tight ring of muscle before pushing one in. Feliciano hadn't done this in a few months, so it felt a little painful at first, but as Gilbert added more fingers and found his prostate, the pain was replaced with pleasure. That pleasure didn't last long, though, as Gilbert soon pulled his hand away and instead busied himself with getting a condom on. "Fuck… Babe, I need you so bad," he whimpered.

Gilbert leaned in again and kissed Feliciano. He deepened the kiss as he pushed in, slow and gentle. Feliciano dug his nails into his back, tightening his grip if it started to hurt too much. Gilbert was big, which Feliciano hadn't really expected. He'd thought Gilbert just bragged about his 'awesomely huge dick' to make it seem large, but he had been telling the truth.

"Just tell me when you're ready," Gilbert whispered. He kissed Feliciano again and pressed their foreheads together so they were looking into each others' eyes.

Feliciano took a few moments to adjust before he nodded and leaned in to kiss Gilbert. So many emotions were coursing through him, but he didn't have time to think about it, because all of a sudden Gilbert was gently thrusting his hips and it sent waves of pleasure through his body. In an attempt to stifle his loud moaning, Feliciano pressed a hand to his lips, but Gilbert pushed it away.

"I want to hear you, you sound so beautiful," he murmured. Feliciano blushed and let out more pleasured noises as Gilbert quickened the pace of his thrusting. Both of them were leaving their mark on each other; Feliciano was digging in his nails and scratching all over Gilbert's back, while he covered Feliciano's neck, chest, and shoulders in bite marks and hickeys. By the time they were through, both would have lasting impressions of each other on their bodies.

"Oh god, Gil, I'm gonna-" Feliciano was cut off by Gilbert kissing him. He moaned against his lips and arched his back so their stomachs touched while he orgasmed. It wasn't too long afterwards that Gilbert finished, and they laid back against the bed, almost automatically curling into one another's arms.

Tears filled up in Feliciano's eyes, and before he knew what was happening, he was crying. Gilbert's breath hitched and he quickly brushed his thumb over Feliciano's cheek to wipe away the tears. "Why are you crying? I didn't hurt you, did I?" fear flashed over Gilbert's eyes and he pulled Feliciano close.

"No, I'm just so overwhelmed, I'm feeling so many emotions at once. I've had sex before, but it's never been with someone like you and I just feel so…" He was cut off by Gilbert again, who was kissing him. This time it wasn't rough, it was sweet and gentle and filled with adoration.

"I know, because I feel the same way. I… I love you, Feli. I love you so much. You make everything so awesome and you make me feel awesome and you are awesome and I love you," Gilbert admitted. It wasn't like him to be nervous and stumble over his words, but he could be vulnerable like that around Feliciano. He looked down at the Italian and smiled, finding his words again. "I wanted to have sex with you now because I'm really sure about how I feel about you,"

Feliciano smiled and laid his head on Gilbert's chest. "I love you too. I've wanted to say that for awhile now, but…" he trailed off and closed his mouth. Feliciano wasn't sure he should tell Gilbert what he'd been told.

"But what?"

"But Francis and Ludwig both told me that something had happened to you, and I should take it slow," he admitted.

Gilbert tensed under him. "How much did they tell you?"

"Just that something had happened with your last relationship and I should be careful," Feliciano murmured. He wasn't going to pressure Gilbert to tell him what had happened, that was something for him to choose to do. Instead, he just kissed Gilbert's collarbone and traced little hearts on his chest. He could feel the albino relax under him, but there was still a certain tenseness. "It's okay, we can talk about something else if you're uncomfortable,"

"No. I'm gonna have to tell you this sooner or later, I just need a moment," he sucked in a breath and closed his eyes.

"I can hold your hand if you want," Feliciano smiled and slipped his fingers into Gilbert's. He squeezed back gratefully. It was little things like that which made Gilbert love him more and more.

Releasing a breath, Gilbert started talking. "A few years ago, I had this roommate. Her name was Elizavetha, and we got along pretty well. She knew I was gay, I thought she was a lesbian because she was all masculine, so I'd bring guys over and fuck them and stuff, and I never worried about her getting too close to them. Well, I met this one guy. His name was Roderich. We went on a few dates, things started getting serious and…" he paused to press the fingertips of his free hand to his cheek and closed his eyes. Feliciano swore he saw tears glistening beneath his eyes and beading on his lashes.

"Then, I just went ahead and told him I loved him, and he said he loved me back, and I was so blinded by love that I didn't realize he never meant it. And then," he broke down, squeezing Feliciano's hand tightly as he tried to hold back sobs. "I got home early from work one day, and Elizavetha's door was open, and they were fucking. I asked Roderich about it and he said he'd only liked me at first, and then he'd met Elizavetha, and he started using me just so he could be with her,"

Feliciano squeezed his hand back and rubbed his thumb over the side of his palm. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. He was crying, too, with tears trickling silently down his cheeks. Feliciano didn't understand how anyone could do that to someone, especially Gilbert.

"When he was done with me, he told me I was worthless and no one would ever love me again. I started pushing people away after that, and I still don't feel like I've recovered, but being with you helped. My self esteem's been in the gutter since then, but I know now if I feel like shit about myself, I can always talk to you, and you'll pick me right back up," he smiled a little and let Feliciano brush the tears away from his cheeks.

The Italian was nothing but sympathetic. He kissed Gilbert everywhere he could and held him close, trying to make up for all the love he'd lost from Roderich. "Well, I'd never do that to you. I really mean it when I say that I love you, you're my everything," he kept drawing the little hearts on Gilbert's chest and curled close to him.

"I love you so much, Feli," Gilbert said it again and again, his words gaining more meaning every time he uttered them. He looked down at Feliciano, watching him relax and fall asleep. The Italian's makeup was smudged, and plenty of it had ended up on Gilbert. They were both messy and in need of a good shower, but that could wait. Right then, he really only cared about being with his boyfriend. No… his lover.


End file.
